This is the classic situation of girls showing off their wares and complaining when males stare at her.
Before we learned to speak, we had to use facial expressions. You can imagine that a male had to ‘show his intentions’ using facial expressions. It may have included a noise such as lives on in the whistle from building sites at the girls walking by. The males enjoying the smile from afar. The girls enjoying the attention, soon to be lost as they age. A flutter for all with no danger. In the Victorian era, the male would state his intentions formally in words. Males and females were careful not to lead the other on unnecessarily. She might snap her fan shut to indicated that she was not interested or swing it slowly to demonstrate interest. Before we could speak, we probably used facial expressions, and you can still detect these. There is a mean, go away look and an ‘I find you interesting look.’
I often say: “God made women beautiful so that men would fall for them. Unfortunately, he made men ugly.” They usually disagree with the ‘men are ugly’ bit. I sometimes ask: “Did god make women beautiful or did god make man’s mind think that woman are beautiful” I then add: “A cat does not care what its owner looks like. It just thinks: ‘I have an owner that feeds me’.” Beauty is tied to virility. If we think someone is a suitable virile mate, we class them as ‘beautiful’. The detection of attractiveness is an ancient signal of evolutionary fitness that informs our reptile brain that this beautiful person will be good at producing healthy children. We get a subconscious message that the person is beautiful and that we should make attempts to procreate. Strangely enough, we are detecting averageness. Someone that fits the mould of our society. Someone without unusual features. For men, virility is well defined in this quote about Roman society:
The virile is not simply what is manly; it is more: an ideal of power and virtue, self-assurance and maturity, certitude and domination . . . . courage and “greatness” accompanied by strength and vigour.
Thus, women are weighing up the virility of men. Male virility is associated with strength, strength, force, dynamism, gutsiness, vigour, and potency. A Spanish dictionary lists: ‘potencia sexual’, which might as well be translated as ‘The ability to fuck me and give me children!’ Collins Dictionary says that it does not equal: ‘impotence, effeminacy, unmanliness, weakness, femininity, and softness’. Thus the encouragement of these characteristics under new-age thinking is detrimental to the characteristics desired by women. Virility is to men as fertility is to women. So virility in women refers to their fertility. As males, we detect a woman’s virility as perceived fertility and our subconscious tells us to make a move to get to know the girl with the intent of creating babies. Our neocortex receives a message that our subconscious has determined that said female is appropriately virile which we see as beauty. An old woman can have beauty in that she would have been beautiful in earlier years.
So, girls check out the guys to assess the characteristics that they see ass desirable. Girls tend not to make it obvious. One girl, Akshya, beautifully describes the procedure as:
“We will definitely know which guy has got the better eyes, a better lips, a better biceps, a better ass, a better body, an attitude, smile, and everything possible. All we need is just a stare, a single stare is more than enough to know all this.”
“The big difference when guys check out the girls is that, the girl will come to know the next second. We just don’t react. We act like we don’t see it but on the other side we do enjoy it. And you guys will never come to know when we start checking you out. We make sure you don’t see it…
Women check out all the other beautiful women too. Yes everyone. We see all the tiniest details within seconds. So just think about when we are checking out the guys. We need only seconds to scan you from top to bottom. It’s that easy.”
The girl will weigh up the male subtly from afar. She may then position herself to be noticed or accidentally let you catch her looking at you so that you are given a signal that you may be in with a chance. She tells us that as males, someone is always checking us out. Thus we are being checked out by all around us all day long. She says that, as males, we don’t realize that this is occurring, which is why girls might come out with statements such as: “Boys are dumb.” meaning that we just do not see stuff. A girl has totally weighed you up before you have realized that she had even seen you. Girls can read the social dynamics of a room and you cannot. I recognize that girls are seeing things that I can’t see. Akshya finishes her comment with: ‘Some advice for boys’.
Yes, there’s always someone or the other who’s checking you out. The problem is that, you are not aware of it. Stop being in your own world. Look around, you will find her. If you caught her checking you out, just smile. Who knows what will happen next.
Thus girls are checking out boys as a natural biological procedure and will use their instinctive intuition to manage the situation to their favour whilst leading you to believe that it is to your benefit. The problem alluded to by the meme above is overtly obvious staring. I had travelled to Adelaide many years ago to purchase an articulated Volvo bus. On a test run in one of these ten litre monsters, the agent said that his wife regularly admonished him for looking at other women. I quickly calculated that if a male was on the side of a street, I looked for about half a second to check whether he was a threat. If he looked threatening, I looked a little longer to weigh up the threat. If it was a female, I looked for about five seconds. What I since worked out was that I was asking my subconscious: “Would I or wouldn’t I?” This clearly refers to a subconscious decision whether, given the opportunity, ‘I would have sexual relations with this girl.’ Many issues come into the mind including attractiveness, legality, age, availability, and more. The suggestion is that girls can weigh males up in half a second whereas a male takes five seconds to weigh up a girl. One university now decrees that it is an offense for staff to look at each other for more than five seconds, which adds to my five-second observation. Akshya has it right when she says: “If you caught her checking you out, just smile.” and I add that if she catches you checking her out, just smile. Here starts the next problem. You will give yourself away by the nature of your smile. She will read you smile in ways that you cannot understand. She will detect your brainwaves in the smile. The task then is to give the appropriate smile in the ‘caught you looking at me game’. I usually ensure that the smile is preprogramed. I give a smirky smile with a little nod to pass the message that I am strong enough to take her on and I find her interesting to look at. If she challenges with some female attack, she is doing things in a womanly way to check your response. You must indicate that you wore looking at something interesting. If you think pure wickedness, she will detect it. think pleasant thoughts because she can see further into your soul than you realize. But that is the excitement of meeting girls. She has pretence as her master-card. You only have male logic.
Prachi has a similar story to tell:
Yes guys, you are noticed by girls. We do check you out. Top to bottom and then back. We notice everything from your hair to eyes to clothes to beard to shoes. … A well groomed and/or a well behaved guy always gets noticed. And not only we check you out, at times we imagine our entire lives with you. Ya, just in that nano-second.
Thus girls check out the boys in more ways that boys can imagine. They can see things about you that you may not even be aware of. They evaluate you. Continuing:
The first thing that catches our attention is looks and personality. Your build, clothes, hair and, smell. … We make sure that you do not notice us checking you out. … Just a look for a second is good. Anything longer will make the other person uncomfortable.
She hints that girls are into thoughts about feelings, feelings that do not fit with male logic. She is perceptive that the other person may ‘feel uncomfortable’. Feeling uncomfortable is not something that the male thinks of, so the scantily clad female ‘feels uncomfortable’ when stared at by a male. The male task is to recognize that women perceive these social issues whilst males are largely unaware of the social dynamics surrounding him. Thus the male stares at her breasts for more than an appropriate time. The task is then to make the girl comfortable at your gaze by signalling decent intent to her or avoiding the eye gaze or ensuring that she does not notice. Focus on the shop front steadily showing intent and occasionally get an eyeful of her curves as if she distracted you from the shop front. Or let her know with clever eye contact that you appreciate the visual impact that she created and give here such acknowledgement when she catches your eye. I give a little nod with a distinct: “You have brightened an otherwise dull day.” look and “I would like to keep looking.” If I get it right, she invites me to keep looking and she may start an eye game with me. If you think strength is all to do with muscles, try looking into the eyes of such a girl whilst communicating respect. Get it right and she will wiggle her boobies for you and give you very inviting eye invites. She will, in a fraction of a second place you in the ‘never to be forgotten‘ bystander class. Next time you see her, she will recall: “I remember you. You were that man looking at me down… You have very naughty eyes.”
Naughtiness is a female trick to make all sexuality look like a sin. It is a tactic womanhood pass from generation to generation to control male sexuality. The old woman says to her husband: “All you think of is the ‘s’ word.” The topic being so ‘naughty’ as to be unpronounceable.
Olivia likes a genuine smile. She informs:
If they have a genuine smile – it always deserves a second glance in my book.
She also mentions that the female stare at a male lasts less than one second and that the males typically don’t notice. Shivana reports on girls stating at boys with:
my friends do, my friend’s friends do, my friend’s friend’s friends do.
The reality is that eye contact is so much more intimate than words will ever be. My trick is to play what me considered a double bluff. Look the other way at something, then take the eyes around to ‘survey the scene. Your eyes will naturally as biologically programmed, stop at the interesting female. If he notices you looking at her, you must reply with the eyes in that blink of a second. This reply with the eyes may be a smile a small nod, or what comes natural. It must be backed with truthful thoughts for the ‘I like looking at you’ and ‘I would like to get to know you’ to be transmitted. The double bluff is of the nature: ‘I know that you know that I know that you know that I was caught looking at you and it was not accidental but I am pretending it was but the pretence makes it fun.’
Santosh seems to think that women have a wider range of peripheral vision which allows them to notice who is noticing. He believes that women check out men more than men check out women but women tend not to get caught whilst men get caught and get accused of the same inappropriate behaviour that women are eager participants. A friend, Damien said about something else: “He made the mistake of getting caught.”
Three girls, a few days ago in Krabi, said to me whilst quizzing me about my writing, said: “We thought you might be a spy.” but they continued with: “We thought you must have been quite handsome when you were younger.” In other words, they had weighed up my potential worthiness as a partner in reverse. What I would have been like when I was an eligible age for them. The brain does all this calculation in the background, presumably in the reptile brain, then handing the information over to the neocortex for decision making. I am usually surprised that virile young girls should find me interesting in any way and would actively play their eye and visual cues with me.
So as a male guide, girls are noticing you all the time. They are good at hiding it. So you have to play a ‘catch you out’ game.
Thinking about this a bit more, I related back to the time as reptiles. Males tend to stare at a girl for five seconds in an obvious and detectable manner whilst girls stare secretly or for half a second. This may relate to our reptilian ancestors where no neocortex logic was available. His engaged stare was a signal to her that he was interested. His stare had to be detectable by the female, so the state was long enough so that she could detect it on the next surveillance of the surroundings. Biology aside, if women are winging about excessive drooling stares, male precedure needs to be modified to suit. Still stare but be ready with the appreciative smile. The smile that says that I enjoy looking at you because you are good to look at. A tall blond girl this morning in rail station Bangkok took numerous selfies in front of a pink train. She moved her head to numerous angles as she took the selfies. These girls are clearly brought up by their mothers to be narcissists. Thus they enjoy being noticed. The viewing needs to be of an appreciative type. You must develop the appreciative look, even if your main aim is to watch her jiggly bits. Her narcissism helps society by getting the males to work for the benefit of society which from a woman’s point of view, means women and her offspring. Get used to it. It is the way society has always worked. Transfer of assets from male to female. Just enjoy the way they do it. They get assets and you get sex and offspring.
Andy Chalkley 2018
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