If a woman asks you to shave your beard, she is trying to exert a level of control over you. It is not just the beard that is to disappear, something else will disappear. She may start with the beard and escalate. She will always want something changed. The beard does not influence her life or happiness. You need to take a stand and demonstrate that there are limits to her demands. My tactic would be to draw the conversation on her demands out in a playful game that lasts a lifetime. You can state: “I’m thinking about it.” Then turn the topic to something else like whether you prefer her hair long or short. Don’t do anything silly like suggesting which length you prefer, because she is likely to do the opposite to demonstrate that you have no control over her. Concerning your beard, you can muse over the ‘logical’ benefits and negatives using quality male logic. But you must be aware of female logic. It is not the beard that is at risk, it is control over you that is at stake. That is why a good female friend in a friendly confiding discussion classed: “males are dumb.”  She was not intending to be rude. It was an honest evaluation. Males are not seeing the extra dimension that females see. When further questioned about her ‘males are dumb’ comment, amongst other illuminating items, she added: “Men only see tits and ass.”

This post is not specifically about beards. Sometimes I joke: “A girl meets you, then she tries to turn you into the type of man she really wanted to meet.” But that is not quite correct. She needs to have you under her control. If she cannot influence you, you are of no use to her. So, you don’t give into her wishes but you don’t go against her wishes. It is a perpetual game and if you play it well, it will be an exciting game. She will attract you initially with her feminine form and then with her feminine ways. Part of that feminine way is to ensure that you will go along with her needs as a partner when she has children. You are only stronger in a physical sense. She will be stronger in all other senses. She will completely outclass you in these methods. You need to recognize what she is doing but maintain your individuality and dignity. You are a pawn in her game. She will woo you with her ‘ohhs’ and ‘ahhs’. She will have you wrapped around her little finger. To move you, she will use a light touch of her smallest finger with almost no pressure. Or she may just smile and mover her head to one side and you will automatically follow her instruction. You can see it in restaurants. The man talks away with fascinating interest on a wide range of topics with fascinating insight, but the woman makes an almost inaudible: “tut tut.” and he instantly shuts up. (If he knows what is good for him.) Sometimes it is a light tap tap on the table to achieve total silence in the man. If she does not get the silence, expect a serious tantrum with all sorts of unsubstantiated accusations such as: “I am never sure whether you love me!” and “How can I trust you!” or “Your behavior is not what I expect!” You will find out sooner or later.

So it is not the beard that you will be loosing. You will be losing part of your manhood! Don’t go there. Stand your ground. Play her emotional games in reverse. Get home from work and say: “I thought about shaving my beard off today.” To your male logic, you only see ‘beard on’ — ‘beard off’. A woman sees another dimension.

• You thought about her during the day. (They love that.)
• You consider caving to her control.
• Some other things that not even I can think of as I am only a ‘dumb male’.

I have a minor advantage over other males because I recognize that women are seeing this extra dimension.

A while ago, a girl turned on all the charm tactics to get me to do some minor item. I resisted with playful reasoning which demonstrated a playful determination not to but illustrated that I was tempted. She used the full range of facial expressions and hands on the arm and touches to the chest. In the end, she gently held my arm and gave it a light shake in frustration accompanied by a light: “grrrrrrrr”. I didn’t cave in but we had a respectful and exciting game in the process. Such is the enjoyment of male-female relationships.

If you are not careful, you will have no rights to your own dignity. If you search on this topic of beards, you will get male logic. “It saves you time.”, “You look more handsome.”, “It keeps you warm,” But the issue at stake is not an issue that can be decided using male logic. We are dealing with woman’s logic. You always have to look at the opposite. Men oppressed women — women oppressed men. Men are dumb — men are logical. If you have a beard, she will want it off. If you are clean shaven, she will want a beard. Be wary. You may win this first round, but you will lose a round sooner or later. They will chuck a ‘shit test’ at you. They will do something to see how you react: “Sometimes I think that you don’t love me.” or “How am I supposed to know that you love me?” or: “Sometimes you are so heartless.” or: “You hurt my feelings.” or: “You are so heartless — you forgot your mother’s birthday!” Be prepared. One of these will catch you out. You will give the wrong answer.

Don’t forget, when dealing with a female, it is never about the beard.

Andy Chalkley
July 2018