How to talk to girls.

Advice for life.

As a boy, you will be interested in how to communicate with girls. Girls think and operate entirely differently to boys. It is what makes the interaction interesting and exciting. I sometimes refer to the joke: “There are only two ways of understanding how a women thinks — and no-one has discovered them yet!” You may never understand the way that girls think. As a male, you will operate in the land of logic. You may be good on logic or even very strong on logic, but girls operate with another dimension that goes beyond logic. If she tries to reason with you on logic, you will likely win. But relationships have little to do with logic. Logic does not apply. Logic is a hinderance. Your logic will get you nowhere. Relationships involve a communication using subconscious signals and cues from the subconscious reptile brain. A relationship is created through nods and smiles and maintained through emotional connection. In these areas, the girl will outclass you. If you put your logic against a girl’s ability to emotionally connect, she will win every time. So you have to be aware that there are forces in operation of which you are not aware. You may have physical strength, you may have superb logic, but they are as nothing against a woman’s intuition. If she looks at you and you are required to look into her eyes, you will soon discover a strength test. If you look down or away or do not give the right facial expression, you have lost. She has a different type of strength.

If you are aware that this extra dimension exists, even though you cannot detect nor understand it, you are ahead of your rivals. If you say something snide to mate on the other side of the room, she will detect that you did so.

She won’t know the words, but she will know that you said something inappropriate. If you think something inappropriate, she will not detect the thought but she will detect that you had a negative thought. You are not able to detect this. At sixty-six, I am aware that girls are seeing more in a situation than I am seeing, which allows the communication to flourish. But this communication is not words, it is facial and emotional communication. I speak with my eyes and face. I cannot control these things directly so I must engage with my subconscious. Without moving my lips, I can tell her that: “I respect her. I like looking at her and I would like to get to know her.” It may take you half a lifetime to comprehend this, but it is an important lesson. Just recognizing that girls are reading and seeing signs that you cannot see is an important start. A girl walks into a room and can read the ‘social dynamics’ of the entire room. She may do this in under half a second. As a male, you just see a sea of people. You may or may not find this physically intimidating, but you may also find it emotionally intimidating. You may feel ‘ill at ease’ or ‘out of place’ and this may show in your demeanour. You may be able to ‘straight-face’ it, so that males won’t see it, but females may see it. Thus you can have the physical strength of bulging muscles but demonstrate a weakness at the same time. To be ‘at peace’ in your social environment is important. So you always walk into a situation like you deserve to be there. So there is a whole kaleidoscope of characteristics that cannot be measured in any normal way. It is tied into items such as ‘social status’, ‘self esteem’ and ‘social hierarchy’.

The girl can read things from your eyes, face, body movement and other things that we may never know and other items about which you are not aware of. And that is how she is judging you. I believe that the girl can perceive what you judge your social status to be as a short-cut to determining your social status. How is that for a conundrum? She detects your social status by the signals you give out about what you perceive your social status to be! So you must learn how to give the signals that you desire to give. Your logical neocortex is not going to do this. This is not to be worried about because all us males are in the same position of not knowing. As I said, at sixty-six, I don’t know what they are perceiving, I just know that they are perceiving. So I say the method is to be absolutely truthful, and think what you want them to perceive which is: “I respect them, I would like to get to know you, I find you interesting, and you excite me.” I think these things. The hidden thoughts must be absolutely truthful. I give a little nod with the best smile that I can manage – and I get these magical smiles in return which sometimes send a magical shiver through my body. Sometimes the girl tells me what was in the message and it matches the contents of my mind.

If your mate says something inappropriate about her and you smile, she will detect this in your facial expression. She will demand to know what he said. When you say: “Nothing!”, she will say: “You’re lying!” because she detects it from your face even though you think you are controlling your expression. She will needle you until you give in. But of course, you apologise for your choice of friend but you don’t say what he said which shows that you are capable of loyalty. She will perceive your ‘loyalty’ and condescendingly accept your groveling apology. She can read your face like a street map. So you must make sure that your facial street-map is showing the correct information. Quite simply, she will read things in your facial expression about which you are entirely unaware. Thus, you cannot harbour inappropriate thoughts because they are not ‘hidden’. She has another level of perception that is way superior to yours.

I trained as a mathematician and engineer, so I am Mr. Logical. So I had to learn how persons were seeing things that I could not see. I shall progressively explain the procedure, but in simple terms, it is necessary to think the message into the ‘back of your brain’, then give a small nod of two millimetres with the best smile that you can muster. The message passes to the recipient. The message to a girl is: “I respect you, I like looking at you, and I would like to get to know you.” You think this into the back of your mind, and it must be true. If it is not true, then the message will not pass and the lie will be detected. Give a tiny nod and your best small smile. If you get it right, the girl will respond with a gleaming smile in return which has the power to reduce you to jelly. I believe this came from our time as reptiles, where we had to signal to a female reptile that we were interested and she had to give a signal back that she might be interested. Reptiles don’t speak and so they have to do all their mating procedures using subtle signals. Humans still have these signals but modern training, education and logic teach us to ignore the subconscious and use logic. Logic does not apply when creating relationships. Humans have only had speech for one-hundred-thousand years and so the whole of the meeting and mating had to be done without words. You can still manage the meeting and bedroom stuff without words. I, myself, use my face, nods, and other movements to communicate with girls.

In the world of dating, the girl might swing her eyes around the room where she will ‘catch’ you looking at her. Her eyes will pass way past you, but then she will look back for the briefest flash of a second as if to say: “Caught you. I caught you looking at me. I know that you know that I know that you know that you are interested in me. But you will have to work far harder than that if you want me. Try a bit harder and I might be interested.” It is a double bind. She knows that you know that she knows that you know that you were looking at her. You can’t get out of that one. If the look was right, she is expecting you to play the game. Somehow you have to make a move and she may well play games to test you out. You will be tested in various ways. It might include: “I bet you say that to all the girls.” You had better have some clues on how to counter that type of comment. A minor comment of that type is a mild form of what is called the ‘shit test’. I rename this to ‘stress test’. The stress test comes in numerous forms such as: “How do I know that you really love me?” The stress test is designed to put you in a state of confusion. It is designed to see how you value yourself and how you value her. You will be extremely prone to devalue yourself with a bumbling idiotic answer. She will confuse you with your own logic. The stress test may be: “You’re really not my type.” or “I have a boyfriend.” or something similar. She will detect your opinion of your worthiness from your answer. Thus she detects your social status from you, yourself without seeing you in action amongst other people. Your eye movement, facial expression, and manner of talking will be observed. She detects whether you perceive yourself to be worthy of her.

She may walk past you and you will believe that she did not notice you. She noticed you. She does not walk past anyone without knowing who she walked past. Never, ever underestimate a girl’s ability to detect all the clues about a situation. Thus the only solution for you as a man is to think only good things and do only good things.

The understanding that came to me later in life is to show a mixed message of strength and weakness. I show an inner strength to my own character and what I am about in life whilst showing a weakness to their emotional game — a weakness to the way they enjoy playing a relationship. I talk with my facial expressions. By pushing truthful things into my subconscious, I pass strong and weak messages. As a young male, you are likely to be clueless to what I am saying.

I basically have to be happy with the way I operate my life. I have an income. I am good to all people. I don’t pollute or litter. I have concern for the environment. I do the ‘right’ thing on all occasions. Thus my subconscious says that I am a good strong worthy person. And that can be visible through what some call “body language” but what I call “facial expression”. At the same time, I am aware that a girl’s intuition outclasses mine. I will not allow myself to be emotionally bullied, but I will play along with the game. I invite her to play her magic on me. I invite her to play my emotions with her facial expressions and body movement whilst I respond, by facial smiles alone, that she is affecting me deep inside. If she makes my heart flutter, I tell her, quietly. She is quite happy for you to operate in your logical world provided she has emotional influence over you. Call it love, but it is her emotional influence over you. The emotional influence morphs into emotional control. This is called: “love”. So you will not escape it. Your protection is to have rigid standards beyond which you will not go. You are a principled man, If you have a beard, she will ask you to ‘shave your beard’ to see if you comply. If you are clean shaven, she will ask you to grow a beard, to see if you comply. So, do not shave you beard. Her respect for you will be interpreted by you as her ‘love’ for you. She will demonstrate it as respect for you tangled with acceptance of the logical you. You will interpret the respect and acceptance as her ‘love’ for you.

The Smile!

will ......
may......
overpower you.

Simple Rules.

Reputation

Your reputation is one of the most precious things that you own. It may be the most precious thing. Reputation takes a whole life to earn. It can be destroyed in a minute. I tell people: “Always do the right thing.” There is no rule book on ‘doing the right thing’. You have to work it out. Bad deeds will come back to bite you. There will always be someone going to put the bad word on you. Don’t give them the fuel. Your reputation is important, so you always do the ‘right thing’ so that people go around saying that you are a good person. If someone then says you are bad, no-one believes them because they know so many people that say good of you.

If nine people say something bad about a person and one person says something good, then, that person is probably a bad person. If one person says something bad and nine people say something good, the person is probably good. You have a problem when you hear five good things and five bad things. You need to be a person who has nine people saying good things about you.

  • Eat less junk food.
  • Get enough sleep.
  • Ask advice when needed.
  • Don’t play the idiot.
  • Get enough exercise.
  • Never start smoking.
  • Do more ‘things’.
  • Don’t revisit past faults.
  • You don’t know everything. You will continue to learn as life goes past.
  • Be humble when necessary. There is a vast wealth of knowledge built by humans over five millennia. You only know one small little part of it.
  • Live for today, but plan for the long haul.
  • Recognise that the world is not fair.
  • Use your brain.
  • Don’t say dumb things.
  • Develop principles and stick to them.
  • Use your eyes to communicate.
  • Use your smile whilst talking.
  • Be the sort of man a girl would want.
  • Do not grovel — ever.

Respect

There are no tricks to the earning of respect, in fact, tricks will backfire and damage the respect people have for you. Respect is something that is earned more with action and less with words. Respect is what others think of you. If you are obsessed with ‘you’, you will be less respected. Monitor the frequency with which you use the word ‘I’ in sentences. If you are all about ‘i, me, and myself’, you are on the wrong track. Consider what is best for the other person. To gain respect, you need to be the type of person that is worthy of respect. You need to be the type of person that people will respect. So cut the negative comments. Never make a promise that you may not keep. Never lie. (That does not mean that you always tell the truth. Just avoid the ugly stuff.) Be positive about criticism. If someone is doing something wrong, I tell them quietly, at an opportune moment, away from others. I say it in a manner that suggests a better outcome for them. Respect others for what they are good at even when they are giving you the heeby jeebies. Avoid bragging, but let your little accomplishments slip out ‘accidentally’ in conversation. Do something different each day. Study something different each day. Go do some exercise before socialising, so that you are in a heightened state before meeting people. Go to dance lessons of all types. Partake in minority sports and activities so that you have plenty of interesting things to talk about. Be interested in other peoples’ stories.

“A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.” Greek Proverb


The Dating Game has Changed.

Before my time and about eighty years ago, a male would meet a female and within two weeks, they might be planning a wedding. He knew that the girl was going to make a trusted life-long partner. That all changed with so-called “Woman’s Lib” meaning “Woman’s Liberation”. The suggestion was that men had been oppressing woman. Whereas, it had actually been the opposite. But the illogic stuck. When a man proposed to a girl, he was promising a life of servitude to her for the purpose of provisioning her. He took over all the responsibility for providing money, food, and protection. He was required to relinquish his wages to her for the rest of his life.

If you see an old couple in a shopping centre and they are still holding hands and blowing kisses at each other, ask when they met. It was always when they were teenagers. They will say to each other: “What would you like dear?” and the other will reply: “But what would you like?” They are each looking after each other’s interests and the result is greater than the sum of two individuals. The Bible calls it: “as one flesh.” They work together as one. The woman controlled the man from a position of weakness. Any man that harmed a woman was tied to a whipping post and flogged as in this old image:

He was expected to ‘take it like a man’. In fact, everything about manliness was what was useful to a woman. “He is manly.” means he is strong and looks after his woman. “He is a good man.” means “He looks after his woman.” – “He is romantic.” means “He grovels to his woman.” The expectations on males was high. He was expected to work hard and bring home money for his wife and family. He was expected to be a provisioner and his status in society depended on his provisioning ability. He was otherwise a ‘failure’ as a ‘man’.

Feminism created a disaster for this relationship. It started with the illogic that the kitchen was oppression. Illogic has become mainstream. I see people queueing to get on to television kitchen programs. Women were given choices which included work, work, work or work. It did not include more time with the children or more leisure time. Girls were also told they could be sexually liberated and that if males could misbehave, then women could misbehave. But, eighty years ago, men could not misbehave as no girl would have promiscuous sex with them. The illogic is deafening. If the behaviour of males was bad, should not male’s behaviour be brought up the the high standard of women? Why bring women down to the standards of men? The problem for males at present is that it is difficult to find what is termed “Good Girls”. The illogic has made them undesirable to males as marriage partners. Boys in their mid-twenties say to me: “Andy. Where are all the ‘good girls’?”

Hate

There are many types of feminists and you will have to know how to deal with them. There is no one rule. As men, we basically built the modern world so we don’t deserve the ear bashing that we are being dished by the media and the sad girls that fall for the propaganda. We love and revere women. The expression: ‘Toxic Masculinity’ can now be classed as ‘hate speech’. Appropriate tactics tend to involve:

Getting feminists to doubt the ideals of feminism. I usually state: “You realise the feminism was funded and promoted by males.” I may add: “You realise that it destroyed the women’s cartel on sexual relations.”

I try also to demonstrate the illogic implicit in feminism. I decry that: “The kitchen had no chains or whips. I see people enthusiastically cooking on television. Women were told they were to be freed from freedom and given choices. Those choices were work, work, work or work.” Women now suffer the way that men suffered in workplaces. Women get put on antidepressants and see psychologists to keep working. They finish up depressed at sixty because they made the mistake of having no children.

Some are almost impossible to deal with and rant their practiced lines that lack logic. “Men are pigs. We want to be like men.” You just have to feel sorry for the unhappy feminists. Some even wear tee-shirts with a refusal to smile.

Preferably, avoid antagonising them, as the fraternity of worldwide males wants cooperative engagement with females rather than the aggressive environment set up by those that promoted the subversive ideology of feminism. Their lousy attitude is not entirely their fault. they fell for the propaganda.

There is no need to feel guilty because some girl was catcalled sometime by a male, just because you also happen to be a male. You are not responsible for someone else’s behaviour. Neither are you responsible for your ancestor’s misdemeanours. There is no joint guilt because you are male. There is no ‘joint guilt’ in any situation ever.

Through history, females were the privileged sex as they were not required to work down the mines and in the dangerous jobs. But feminists pretend as though they are oppressed. Toxic feminism has pitted women and men against each other. It is feminism that is toxic, not masculinity.

You will always receive the rough end of the stick. When you offer to help a girl you are being ‘condescending’. When you walk away, you are a heartless, callous bastard. But that is how we are brought up anyway. As males we are taught to take the hard knocks, to roll with the punches. Girls are told they can fly to the moon and become CEOs. Us males are told to work really hard and if we are really lucky, we might get a job. That is our lot.

Possibly the best way to treat the feral toxic feminists is to treat them like racists. You may have to put up with them in your workplace or social circle but don’t ever do them any favours. Consider them as bigots. Do not reward their toxicity. Their poor attitudes will probably bring them the karma that they will die poor, ugly, and lonely. Do not lower your standards to their level of conversation. Men are awesome, fun, and honourable whilst being inventive, opportunistic, and worldly. You belong to the worldwide fellowship of upstanding males. We are above such pettiness. Politely give them the opportunity to repent, but if they don’t repent, help make the misery arrive for them. Their doctrine discourages fun, cooperation, and the joy of male companionship. Males are interested in cooperation and companionship with the female gender and feminism is damaging the potential.


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