As a boy, you will be interested in how to communicate with girls. Girls think and operate entirely differently to boys. It is what makes the interaction interesting and exciting. I sometimes refer to the joke: “There are only two ways of understanding how a women thinks — and no-one has discovered them yet!” You may never understand the way that girls think. As a male, you will operate in the land of logic. You may be good on logic or even very strong on logic, but girls operate with another dimension that goes beyond logic. If she tries to reason with you on logic, you will likely win. But relationships have little to do with logic. Logic does not apply. Logic is a hinderance. Your logic will get you nowhere. Relationships involve a communication using subconscious signals and cues from the subconscious reptile brain. A relationship is created through nods and smiles and maintained through emotional connection. In these areas, the girl will outclass you. If you put your logic against a girl’s ability to emotionally connect, she will win every time. So you have to be aware that there are forces in operation of which you are not aware. You may have physical strength, you may have superb logic, but they are as nothing against a woman’s intuition. If she looks at you and you are required to look into her eyes, you will soon discover a strength test. If you look down or away or do not give the right facial expression, you have lost. She has a different type of strength.
If you are aware that this extra dimension exists, even though you cannot detect nor understand it, you are ahead of your rivals. If you say something snide to mate on the other side of the room, she will detect that you did so.
She won’t know the words, but she will know that you said something inappropriate. If you think something inappropriate, she will not detect the thought but she will detect that you had a negative thought. You are not able to detect this. At sixty-six, I am aware that girls are seeing more in a situation than I am seeing, which allows the communication to flourish. But this communication is not words, it is facial and emotional communication. I speak with my eyes and face. I cannot control these things directly so I must engage with my subconscious. Without moving my lips, I can tell her that: “I respect her. I like looking at her and I would like to get to know her.” It may take you half a lifetime to comprehend this, but it is an important lesson. Just recognizing that girls are reading and seeing signs that you cannot see is an important start. A girl walks into a room and can read the ‘social dynamics’ of the entire room. She may do this in under half a second. As a male, you just see a sea of people. You may or may not find this physically intimidating, but you may also find it emotionally intimidating. You may feel ‘ill at ease’ or ‘out of place’ and this may show in your demeanour. You may be able to ‘straight-face’ it, so that males won’t see it, but females may see it. Thus you can have the physical strength of bulging muscles but demonstrate a weakness at the same time. To be ‘at peace’ in your social environment is important. So you always walk into a situation like you deserve to be there. So there is a whole kaleidoscope of characteristics that cannot be measured in any normal way. It is tied into items such as ‘social status’, ‘self esteem’ and ‘social hierarchy’.
The girl can read things from your eyes, face, body movement and other things that we may never know and other items about which you are not aware of. And that is how she is judging you. I believe that the girl can perceive what you judge your social status to be as a short-cut to determining your social status. How is that for a conundrum? She detects your social status by the signals you give out about what you perceive your social status to be! So you must learn how to give the signals that you desire to give. Your logical neocortex is not going to do this. This is not to be worried about because all us males are in the same position of not knowing. As I said, at sixty-six, I don’t know what they are perceiving, I just know that they are perceiving. So I say the method is to be absolutely truthful, and think what you want them to perceive which is: “I respect them, I would like to get to know you, I find you interesting, and you excite me.” I think these things. The hidden thoughts must be absolutely truthful. I give a little nod with the best smile that I can manage – and I get these magical smiles in return which sometimes send a magical shiver through my body. Sometimes the girl tells me what was in the message and it matches the contents of my mind.
If your mate says something inappropriate about her and you smile, she will detect this in your facial expression. She will demand to know what he said. When you say: “Nothing!”, she will say: “You’re lying!” because she detects it from your face even though you think you are controlling your expression. She will needle you until you give in. But of course, you apologise for your choice of friend but you don’t say what he said which shows that you are capable of loyalty. She will perceive your ‘loyalty’ and condescendingly accept your groveling apology. She can read your face like a street map. So you must make sure that your facial street-map is showing the correct information. Quite simply, she will read things in your facial expression about which you are entirely unaware. Thus, you cannot harbour inappropriate thoughts because they are not ‘hidden’. She has another level of perception that is way superior to yours.
I trained as a mathematician and engineer, so I am Mr. Logical. So I had to learn how persons were seeing things that I could not see. I shall progressively explain the procedure, but in simple terms, it is necessary to think the message into the ‘back of your brain’, then give a small nod of two millimetres with the best smile that you can muster. The message passes to the recipient. The message to a girl is: “I respect you, I like looking at you, and I would like to get to know you.” You think this into the back of your mind, and it must be true. If it is not true, then the message will not pass and the lie will be detected. Give a tiny nod and your best small smile. If you get it right, the girl will respond with a gleaming smile in return which has the power to reduce you to jelly. I believe this came from our time as reptiles, where we had to signal to a female reptile that we were interested and she had to give a signal back that she might be interested. Reptiles don’t speak and so they have to do all their mating procedures using subtle signals. Humans still have these signals but modern training, education and logic teach us to ignore the subconscious and use logic. Logic does not apply when creating relationships. Humans have only had speech for one-hundred-thousand years and so the whole of the meeting and mating had to be done without words. You can still manage the meeting and bedroom stuff without words. I, myself, use my face, nods, and other movements to communicate with girls.
In the world of dating, the girl might swing her eyes around the room where she will ‘catch’ you looking at her. Her eyes will pass way past you, but then she will look back for the briefest flash of a second as if to say: “Caught you. I caught you looking at me. I know that you know that I know that you know that you are interested in me. But you will have to work far harder than that if you want me. Try a bit harder and I might be interested.” It is a double bind. She knows that you know that she knows that you know that you were looking at her. You can’t get out of that one. If the look was right, she is expecting you to play the game. Somehow you have to make a move and she may well play games to test you out. You will be tested in various ways. It might include: “I bet you say that to all the girls.” You had better have some clues on how to counter that type of comment. A minor comment of that type is a mild form of what is called the ‘shit test’. I rename this to ‘stress test’. The stress test comes in numerous forms such as: “How do I know that you really love me?” The stress test is designed to put you in a state of confusion. It is designed to see how you value yourself and how you value her. You will be extremely prone to devalue yourself with a bumbling idiotic answer. She will confuse you with your own logic. The stress test may be: “You’re really not my type.” or “I have a boyfriend.” or something similar. She will detect your opinion of your worthiness from your answer. Thus she detects your social status from you, yourself without seeing you in action amongst other people. Your eye movement, facial expression, and manner of talking will be observed. She detects whether you perceive yourself to be worthy of her.
She may walk past you and you will believe that she did not notice you. She noticed you. She does not walk past anyone without knowing who she walked past. Never, ever underestimate a girl’s ability to detect all the clues about a situation. Thus the only solution for you as a man is to think only good things and do only good things.
The understanding that came to me later in life is to show a mixed message of strength and weakness. I show an inner strength to my own character and what I am about in life whilst showing a weakness to their emotional game — a weakness to the way they enjoy playing a relationship. I talk with my facial expressions. By pushing truthful things into my subconscious, I pass strong and weak messages. As a young male, you are likely to be clueless to what I am saying.
I basically have to be happy with the way I operate my life. I have an income. I am good to all people. I don’t pollute or litter. I have concern for the environment. I do the ‘right’ thing on all occasions. Thus my subconscious says that I am a good strong worthy person. And that can be visible through what some call “body language” but what I call “facial expression”. At the same time, I am aware that a girl’s intuition outclasses mine. I will not allow myself to be emotionally bullied, but I will play along with the game. I invite her to play her magic on me. I invite her to play my emotions with her facial expressions and body movement whilst I respond, by facial smiles alone, that she is affecting me deep inside. If she makes my heart flutter, I tell her, quietly. She is quite happy for you to operate in your logical world provided she has emotional influence over you. Call it love, but it is her emotional influence over you. The emotional influence morphs into emotional control. This is called: “love”. So you will not escape it. Your protection is to have rigid standards beyond which you will not go. You are a principled man, If you have a beard, she will ask you to ‘shave your beard’ to see if you comply. If you are clean shaven, she will ask you to grow a beard, to see if you comply. So, do not shave you beard. Her respect for you will be interpreted by you as her ‘love’ for you. She will demonstrate it as respect for you tangled with acceptance of the logical you. You will interpret the respect and acceptance as her ‘love’ for you.